"Oh," was Wen Kexing's eloquent reaction after seeing his new reflection for the first time. "It looks…"
"Beautiful," Zhou Zishu quickly said, before his stupid soulmate could get any more stupid ideas into his head.
"I look...," he tried.
"Breathtaking." Zhou Zishu made sure to make his voice firm to convey that not a single syllable of protest would be tolerated. He met Wen Kexing's wide-eyed stare of wonder and shock in the mirror and tried to smile as gently as he could as he reached for the comb he'd found a couple of days ago. "Once I've untangled this mess you'll be the most stunning creature around," he promised, getting a quickly cut-off laugh for his praise.
"The only ones around here are you and me and I'm not sure I want to be in a competition with you, my most beautiful A-Xu." Where before there might have been a leer thrown in just to annoy him now there was only love and affection. "It's good to finally see you healthy, A-Xu," Wen Kexing continued, eyes half-closed in pleasure as the combing devolved more and more into rather useless petting and stroking. Not even a gentle tug got him to shut up. "You were always beautiful but now you are radiant."
Zhou Zishu had to swallow a lump at the casually offered words. He'd always known that he wasn't the most unattractive person around - women and men alike had devoured him with their eyes for as long as he could remember, and even after he'd learned to project an aura of menace he'd still appealed to many and he'd taken advantage of that often - but nobody had ever looked at him or spoken to him like Wen Kexing. For him, Zhou Zishu wasn't a body to be charmed and conquered; no matter how aggressive his flirting had been in the beginning Zhou Zishu had never felt degraded by it. Not even that annoyed, if he was being honest.
Of course not. Why should he have been? After all, they had been made for each other; of course Wen Kexing's awful flirting wouldn't irritate him like all the others had.
He snorted. "We need to find a better mirror so you can see yourself properly," he finally said, lying the charm on as thick as his other half. "You're prettier than then any girl I've ever seen at court and, believe me, there were lots of pretty ones. Boys too." Payback was not only a bitch, it could also be fun and was that just the barest hint of color on Wen Kexing's pale cheeks? Good, he deserved being flustered.
"You flatter me, A-Xu!" Wen Kexing laughed but his pleasure at hearing how desirable Zhou Zishu found him was obvious. He fell silent afterwards, energy already almost spent, and barely managed to keep his head up and his eyes half open.
Zhou Zishu indulged once more and brushed his fingers through the hair, nodding to himself in satisfaction when they didn't snag on anything and went through from the top to the very ends in one smooth motion. He finished his task by gathering Wen Kexing's hair in simple braid - the easiest way to tame it when one was mostly bedridden. Wen Kexing had done the same for him when his health had been at its lowest after he'd been rescued from the tender mercies of The Window of Heaven and it had become a fond memory. Wen Kexing taking care of his hair, that was, not the memory of almost being tortured into an even earlier death than the one he had been expecting and dreading.
Unbelievable that he'd gone from being almost dead to being the picture of health in the span of a day and all thanks to the unerring devotion of the man he now cared for with all the patience and love he'd been cared for back then.
After a moment of consideration he pinned the braid up to get it out of the way completely. As beautiful as the snow-white hair was, right now it was a nuisance and he'd found that there had been many things left behind in the armory they could use. Things like combs and hairpins and blankets which had all survived the last twenty years and could make an otherwise intimidating space home.
"You've let yourself go, Lao Wen." Harsh words but he said them with a smile, elegantly ignoring the fact that Wen Kexing had only been awake for about two days and hadn't been able to do anything for weeks. "You can be thankful that you have a dutiful husband to take care of you."
His priority had been keeping Wen Kexing alive by forcing energy, snow and ice into him and begging him to please hold on, not haircare. The washing of it with ice-cold water hadn't been the most pleasant thing, so now Zhou Zishu tried to make up for it this way. Now, that his soulmate was awake and annoying again, he could start on repaying him for all the care he'd gotten when he'd been the one wasting away.
The blush faded and a beautiful smile appeared. "Oh, I am, A-Xu, don't ever doubt that." He reached up and grabbed Zhou Zishu's still moving right hand with uncanny precision. His grip was strong and sure, despite his obvious exhaustion, Zhou Zishu noted to his satisfaction. "I will repay you by being the most devoted wife you've ever seen."
Zhou Zishu laughed. "Don't oversell yourself. If I wanted someone dutiful I wouldn't have picked you. Beautiful will have to do, I fear." And smart, even if he could be so fucking dumb sometimes, but Zhou Zishu would rather die before voicing that thought out loud.
Wen Kexing pouted most prettily, exaggerating it like only he could, before he broke and laughed as well. His energy was almost gone again and he didn't protest when Zhou Zishu helped him up and guided him back to their bed with an arm around his waist.
Time.
Zhou Zishu had lost any hope to ever have time again and now it felt like he was drowning in it. He finally had the time to heal, in mind and body alike, to maybe find his way back from the horrors of his past into a much brighter future. A future filled with love and light (and snow and ice, but it was a price he was more than willing to pay), with the one person at his side who complimented him like he'd never imagined possible.
He looked down at the strand of white hair he'd wrapped around his fingers, relishing in the fact that he was actually able to feel the fine texture. It still hurt to look at Wen Kexing while he was so still - resting, not dead, he reminded himself sharply - and once again told himself that his Lao Wen needed the many hours of rest every day to heal from his own ordeals.
Zhou Zishu had taken to holding him during those long hours of healing sleep, determined that Wen Kexing would never wake up in this cold place alone. In the beginning, when his mind had still been clouded by nightmares and newly resurrected memories, there had been a couple of times when he'd woken up in a panic, afraid and so scared that it had taken hours for him to calm down again.
His meridians hadn't been the only thing broken during those long hours of offering himself up as a sacrifice so that Zhou Zishu might live. Wen Kexing was still suffering from the consequences of having far too much foreign energy surging through his severely injured body, obliterating everything, breaking decades old memory blocks along the way.
Broken in body and mind alike, both of them. They weren't even mirrors of each other, they were basically the same, just some details smudged to set them apart the tiniest little bit.
Still twisting the strand of hair between his fingers he skipped his usual meditation and concentrated on just looking.
Wen Kexing had always been stunningly beautiful, Zhou Zishu was neither blind nor stupid, even if he had rarely acknowledged it out loud before they had ended up in the armory. His Lao Wen was more than aware enough how attractive he was and it had made the rare instances when Zhou Zishu did comment on his looks so much sweeter. The pure joy, quickly masked by the usual mask of arrogant indifference, was something to be treasured, not overindulged in. Not like Wen Kexing, who delighted in assaulting his ears with compliment after compliment until he was this close to beg for mercy.
Zhou Zishu smiled. In some regards there were mirrors of each other after all, it seemed.
But now? With hair as white as the snow outside that not only kept them safe from the world, but had also become their food and drink, he was beyond beautiful. Zhou Zishu had found to his surprise that he no longer wanted to keep silent about it. While he would never be a merciless flatterer like Wen Kexing but he'd started to comment more often on his looks and was having fun doing so.
Finally getting his chance to play with Wen Kexing's hair had been a dream come true and was one of his favorite pastimes in this new undying life of theirs. He'd been forced to hold on to a hurt or even dying Wen Kexing far too often in their old one, it was good to know that from now one the only thing he would do in Zhou Zishu's arms would be finding rest and pleasure.
It wasn't like there were too many other things to do, apart from cuddling up to each other and talking, not as long as Wen Kexing was still recovering.
"Are you going to drive me into a breakdown, like you did with poor Chengling?" Wen Kexing had asked not too long ago, when their talking had led them towards his continued recuperation and how to get his depleted and still aching body back into its old shape.
Zhou Zishu had snorted at that. "No need," had been his answer. "You only pretend to be lazy. Knowing you you'll drive yourself so hard that I'll be the one who has to reign you in before you do yourself even more damage."
A diverse and viciously efficient fighting style like Wen Kexing's didn't come from anything but brutal and continued training through pain and injuries alike - Zhou Zishu could already see the arguments brewing in their future, was already busy trying to devise strategies against the almost inevitable setbacks. Once again he mourned the fact that Wen Kexing's hadn't had the chance to learn his martial arts under a kinder master than a multitude of ghosts out to devour him at the smallest of missteps.
From positive reinforcement to simply sitting on Wen Kexing to keep him in bed he had plans on top of plans to keep his overachieving idiot soulmate happy and healthy. It would be a completely different approach then he'd ever tried before but with a lunatic like Wen Kexing there was no choice but to try out new ways. He'd see through and ignore the old and tried tactics in a heartbeat. Zhou Zishu would need to keep him on his toes, exhaust him mentally and physically, but drag him back to rest before he went too far.
"Oh, so you want to 'reign me in'? I can't wait to see you try!" Wen Kexing had leered back and the rest of the conversation had quickly devolved into childish bickering and a playfight, leading into their first time being intimate since ending up in their new home.
"What is A-Xu thinking about? About the joys of beating his poor Lao Wen up soon?" Wen Kexing still sounded tired but his eyes were clear as he looked up at Zhou Zishu with a smile. "Or are you once again contemplating my radiant beauty?"
"Can't I do both?" He laughed and twirled the strand of hair before letting go of it to lean down. "I will first run you to the ground before taking you back to bed to ravish you until you beg for mercy," he promised in a whisper. Maybe it wasn't too wise to give away one of his plans so soon but whatever. It was worth it to hear the indignant squeak Wen Kexing made before his lips were caught in a kiss and all protest melted away into moans and whimpers.
"A-Xu? Why are you always playing with my hair these days? You didn't pay any attention to it before."
Before it was white, he didn't say out loud but Zhou Zishu heard it anyway.
Instead of answering he combed through it one last time, then put the comb down and rested both of his hands on Wen Kexing's shoulders.
The white hair contrasted wonderfully with the dark blue robe he was wearing today - a mirror to Zhou Zishu's own garments of a lighter shade - and brought out his eyes beautifully. It should be impossible but somehow Zhou Zishu managed to fall just a little bit more for Wen Kexing in that very moment.
"Because now I can actually feel it when I touch it," was his eventual answer. Not something he liked to admit out loud, but out of all the possibilities of a truthful answer, this was the one he could admit to most easily. As if to emphasize his words, he brushed through it with his right hand, making sure that it flowed neatly down Wen Kexing's back.
"A-Xu…"
"Shh. Shut up and let me do this for you."
Today was the first time he would take Wen Kexing outside the armory after the snow had melted enough a couple of days ago. No more sparring in the vast but still too small space of the armory: Now they could fly over the snow, feel the wind and really run free as true equals for the first time ever. He couldn't wait to see his Lao Wen out in the sun, to admire the daylight reflecting in his hair. He would be beyond breathtaking, Zhou Zishu knew, and from the looks Wen Kexing threw his way he was thinking the same about him.
They shared a smile in the mirror, easily guessing each other's thoughts.
Zhou Zishu had declared this outing to be the perfect opportunity to dress up in their new robes. Without other people - or special occasions - in their lives, they needed to make their own, he'd decided. Weeks ago, when Wen Kexing was still bedridden, Zhou Zishu had acquired them along with other basic goods as soon as the weather had allowed it. Wen Kexing had stayed behind on account of being too recognizable and still not quite on top of his game. Their parting had not been that long, but had taken a toll on both of them.
He wouldn't take any more trips alone, they had agreed. They had all they needed here anyway; everything else was a luxury.
"You're treating this like a date!" Wen Kexing finally realized after Zhou Zishu moved to his side to offer his hand to help him up.
Zhou Zishu laughed and leaned in to steal a kiss before pulling him up. "Pretty and smart. Of course this is a date, idiot. I'm going to take you out for a walk for the first time in almost a year!"
He'd been looking forwards to this day for what felt like an eternity. They might have all the time in the world now, but that didn't make the waiting easier. First for Wen Kexing's health to improve, and then for winter to release the door of the armory from its icy grasp. Now, the moment had finally arrived.
Wen Kexing looked at him like he was a stranger.
"What?" Zhou Zishu snapped, feeling suddenly insecure. He was about to let go, but Wen Kexing reacted lightning fast and grabbed his wrist to keep them connected.
"A-Xu," he said softy and with a smile. "A-Xu," he repeated, coming to a halt just in front of the doors to the outside. "A-Xu."
A third time, as if his name was something special. It had annoyed him so much in the past but now it just made him feel warm and loved. It also always made him slightly nervous when Wen Kexing called him three times. Maybe exactly because of the strange feelings it awoke in him.
What?! he wanted to snap again but something in Wen Kexing's expression kept him silent. There was naked want and hunger and love and joy.
"It's so nice to finally meet the real Zhou Zishu," Wen Kexing finally said.
"What?" This time the word slipped out, unbidden, and nearly soundless. He wasn't used to getting called by his full name anymore. That was all he could focus on at the moment, too blown away by the seemingly casual statement. He wanted to take a step back to escape from it but Wen Kexing's grip around his wrist kept him in place.
"The one you've hidden away, even from me," Wen Kexing continued. "I saw glimpses of him, more and more often as time went by, otherwise I wouldn't have followed you all over creation, but I never expected…"
He leaned in to kiss Zhou Zishu. Softly, but insistent. Kind of shocked, Zhou Zishu didn't react apart from opening his mouth and moaning softly.
"All I ever wanted for you was to be happy and healthy. Apart from being mine, obviously." Wen Kexing leered and Zhou Zishu rolled his eyes in mock annoyance.
"I could have never imagined how playful you can be unburdened by pain and grief," he continued, his old, aggressive flirting once again melting away into the gentleness he had started to adopt as soon as Zhou Zishu had given him the first careful signs of reciprocating his feelings. "I like it. I like you."
Oh. Oh.
Zhou Zishu could feel his face burning. Wen Kexing was merciful enough not to mention it, although his smile became rather smug.
It took Zhou Zishu a moment to gather himself. "Okay," he murmured and took a deep breath. "Whatever."
Playful? If this what Wen Kexing wanted from him… He looked up, and made his eyes as big as possible.
"So does that mean that I can take Lao Wen outside for some fun in the snow now?" He could beg really well, he knew, and just about managed to keep his laughter under control at seeing Wen Kexing's expression.
They both had learned to put aside so many things since the ritual. There were days for happiness and days for grief. Today would be a happy one, tomorrow probably would be reigned by regret and tears for roads untraveled and companions lost.
"Not today," Zhou Zishu whispered to himself, shoving the thought aside. They had time for it all now, they just had to take it.
Wen Kexing watched him closely, inferring the meaning of the words easily. "Not today," he agreed softly, intertwining their fingers. "A-Xu, take me out for our first official date in the freezing cold", he demanded in the voice of the Master of Ghost Valley, the one that allowed no protest whatsoever.
"With pleasure, Lao Wen," Zhou Zishu purred, raising their joined hands to kiss the back of Wen Kexing's hand, making sure to look up at him in the most seductive way possible, drawing onto his considerable experience from being at court and a proficient spy: Up from under his lashes and with a demure expression on his face. "I am but your humble servant, willing and happy to bend to your every wish and whim."
Oh, he would pay for that, he knew. Maybe not right at this very moment but sooner or later. He raised his head again, curious if his silent challenge would be accepted as intended.
Wen Kexing snorted and gave him a look that promised retribution before they stepped out into the snow. They were both laughing as they clung tightly to each other’s hands as they slowly, carefully, started to get used to having time.
Forever, Zhou Zishu realized some time later as he took in the breathtaking picture of Wen Kexing standing in the sun surrounded by glittering snow, head thrown back, eyes closed, arms spread wide and with a smile on his face. If we want to, we can have this forever.
He wanted to have this forever. Oh, how much he wanted it. So he reached out to grab it - only for Wen Kexing to meet his hand halfway. His smile even more stunning than before he looked at Zhou Zishu as if he was all he'd ever need in life.
He was, Zhou Zishu knew. Just like Wen Kexing was the only one he needed in his.
"Dance with me, A-Xu," Wen Kexing demanded; a challenge, despite knowing that he would never be denied. He tugged, Zhou Zishu followed his lead, and they flew through the air, high above everything.