"Can you not die?"
"I'll try my best."
The words echoed in Zhou Zishu's mind as he put Wen Kexing to bed and they still lingered as he promised that he would not die before he knew what was lurking in the drunken fool's heart.
Such careless promises. He shouldn't have made then, not even as the put-down the first one was meant to be. He'd seen how Wen Kexing had looked at him afterwards, even before all the carefully concealed truths had slipped out in his drunken state.
He would try his best, yes, but it wouldn't do him anything good. His death was assured, he was far too good at what he did for that. Wen Kexing's immortal nemesis had all but confirmed that today. With every breath he took it came nearer, just like every breath took a little bit more of his senses away.
He could still feel the sense-memory of Wen Kexing's body in his arms as he put him into bed. Soon there would come a time where memories would be all he had left of things like that. The smell of flowers, the taste of wine, teasing poetry in his ears, the way sunlight reflected off Wen Kexing's hair, the feel of strong arms holding him when he stumbled… it would all be gone soon.
Fate was cruel to present him with his soulmate only after he had passed the point of no return - not that he had deserved anything else. Not after the things he had done and allowed to happen under his orders, under his watch. Not after the inventions that would be his legacy in this world, after having destroyed what had been entrusted to him.
Zhou Zishu deserved the pain of finding the one who suited him, only to lose him shortly afterwards, but he was cruel and selfish enough to still keep Wen Kexing close instead of sending him away like he should.
Besides, it wasn't as if he could get rid of Wen Kexing anyway. He'd tried and the brat had come back over and over again, spouting some nonsense and looking at him with that eerie, wide-eyed look of adoration that made him freak out if he allowed himself to think about it. He didn't deserve any of the attention, compliments and offers Wen Kexing was heaping on him with annoying regularity.
Wen Kexing was a beautiful, breathtaking, unpredictable menace and he deserved better than Zhou Zishu. He knew that but he had come to the realization that Wen Kexing himself didn't think so. 'Philanthropist Wen' was one mask of many but also more than that. A glimpse at the true person behind the poetry and the truly atrocious flirting. One aspect of many, most of them contractionary at first - or even second - glance. Zhou Zishu knew that by now, even if he didn't know that many actual facts about the mysterious man who had attached himself to his side like a moth to the flame.
Not quite as mysterious anymore, he allowed as he looked down at Wen Kexing, smoothing down the blanket one last time before turning away to get to his own room. Zhou Zishu was beginning to get a feel for him, had theories about who he might truly be, and how he could be a cold-blooded killer in one moment and like a child that experienced something for the first time in the next.
So many masks, all real in their own way, hiding pain and shame. And probably a mind so broken that insanity wasn't that far away but that was another one of those things Zhou Zishu didn't dwell on too much. There were so many things he carefully didn't think about too much, well knowing that it would lead to discoveries he wasn't yet ready to face. The bond between them wasn't yet strong enough for that but it would be, he knew.
All in good time. Trust must be earned the hard way, by opening up and offering the hidden and shameful parts of himself - something he wasn't yet ready for either.
Zhou Zishu knew all about pain and shame, just like he knew that the key to unraveling the mystery of Wen Kexing was time. Time and patience. He had the latter, and only hoped that he still had enough left of the first left to truly see Wen Kexing's heart and discover how he could help him with his obvious struggles.
"After looking into it, you won't see me as your friend."
Wen Kexing's parting words cut him deeper than they had any right to. Words he wasn't meant to hear but by now he was so in tune with Wen Kexing that he'd caught them across the room, just as he was about to leave.
They forced him to reconsider his plan of leaving, now that he had accepted that his promises had been genuine.
He'd try his best to stay alive for as long as possible. Wen Kexing, cursed pest that he was, had to crash into the lonely and languid end of his life, had to bring chaos and intrigue, and awake his damned curiosity. Zhou Zishu's need to know had always been one of his greatest weaknesses, leading him down a path he didn't want to travel but couldn't escape from, even now.
Damn it.
He would kick Wen Kexing out of bed at the first light of dawn, he decided, and show him no mercy. He must be punished for ruining Zhou Zishu's perfect suicide plan so thoroughly. Wen Kexing would regret every single drop he'd ever drunk in his life; he would plead for mercy and find none. Zhou Zishu would make him pay for this.
Zhou Zishu turned around and just stared at the sleeping new bane of his life for a while before he settled down in front of the table. No alcohol for him tonight, which was yet another annoyance on top of all the others, but it was bad enough that one of them was blindingly drunk and dead to the world. Instead, he poured himself tea and settled down to wait. Wait for the dawn, the day after the next one, for whatever the future might still hold for him.
Them.
There would be no flute music to calm him down, and help him concentrate on living just a little bit longer, but the slow and even rhythm of Wen Kexing's breathing on his left had its own kind of charm, allowing him to let go and slip into a light meditation while he watched over the stupid idiot he somehow had already come to see as his.