"Your hands are cold, A-Xu."
Wen Kexing's voice was soft, barely more than a whisper, but it still disturbed the careful silence between them.
Zhou Zishu smiled. "They don't feel cold," he said equally softly. "Not anymore."
In truth, he hadn't even noticed that they were cold to begin with. If Wen Kexing hadn't touched him by anything but accident while offering him yet another cup of wine and made the comment he still wouldn't know.
He looked down at his right hand, cradled between Wen Kexing's wonderfully elegant and stupidly beautiful hands, and put his left atop. A moment later both of his hands were cradled in that wonderful warmth.
He hadn't felt the cold, no, but he could feel the warmth emanating from the man right in front of him. His smile, perfunctory at first, became genuine. Wen Kexing had a way of thawing not only his frozen emotions but also waking up his dying body with just a touch.
Those hands… they could probably tempt a corpse back to life. He was halfway there and Wen Kexing's touch made him feel more alive than he'd ever felt, even before he'd destroyed his meridians and his body with the nails.
"Your hands are so warm, Lao Wen," he continued, still staring down. Don't ever let go of me, he wanted to beg but held the words back at the last moment. He didn't want to shatter the comfortable mood of the night with a bitter reminder of how short their time together would to be.
He half expected a teasing 'that's not all of me that's warm. Lao Wen can warm his A-Xu up in many ways' or something like that. He wasn't in the mood for sex, hadn't been for a while now, but Wen Kexing most probably was and Zhou Zishu had no problems with indulging his soulmate as far as his body allowed him. While he longed to be able to offer more he was trying to give whatever he could for however long he was allowed.
It would have to be enough. It was, as Wen Kexing had assured him over and over again when Zhou Zishu had gotten him off with mouth or fingers or just a firm grip and some words.
It wasn't but Zhou Zishu no longer had the energy to rage against the unfairness of life and preferred to concentrate on the few good things he had still left.
It took him a moment before he realized that the expected remark hadn't come. Instead, he got a wide-eyed look of wonder and a hint of tears.
"A-Xu…" Wen Kexing didn't manage more than a very choked-off version of his name before he looked down, his eyes closed as if he could hide his tears and pain so easily. As if he could hide anything from Zhou Zishu. They were beyond that by now. Some things in their pasts were still a mystery to each other but they knew each other's souls by now.
No more hiding.
Oh. Of course it went both ways. Of course he wasn't hiding anything from his other half.
Zhou Zishu was beyond tears tonight, too worn-out by pain and sorrow, but Wen Kexing obvious distress tore at his soul. He longed to gather him into his arms, stroke his hair, and whisper nonsense comfort into his ear but now was not the time.
It was the middle of the night, they both were not nearly drunk enough, and there were no more words that needed to be said.
Instead he carefully - oh so carefully because his sense of touch had started to go, too - moved his hand until he could entwine their fingers. First his right with Wen Kexing's left hand and, when no protest came, his left with Wen Kexing's right.
He gently squeezed those beautiful, deadly hands. Hands that had killed, hands that had tortured, hands that had caught and healed him over and over again.
I'm still here, he tried to convey silently. I'm still holding on to you.
Wen Kexing smiled through his tears, somehow divining the meaning of the simple gesture.
He squeezed back, with more force, holding Zhou Zishu's ice-cold hands with almost all the strength he could offer.
It should hurt. It did, just a bit.
Zhou Zishu smiled again, delighting in the pain and the warmth.
"I will always hold on to you," he promised out loud. "If not in body then in mind. Remember that, Lao Wen. Whatever might happen."
Wen Kexing just looked at him, stunned beyond words for once, and Zhou Zishu took it as the victory it was as he raised their joined hands to press a careful kiss on the back of each of Wen Kexing's hands.
"Thank you for warming me," he whispered, meaning so much more than just his hands.
Once again it took Wen Kexing too long of a time to respond. When he did it was with an almost soundless "always, A-Xu. Whatever you need, I'll give it to you."