Preface

Lost
Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/37310635.

Rating:
General Audiences
Archive Warning:
Major Character Death
Category:
M/M
Fandom:
镇魂 | Guardian (TV 2018)
Relationship:
Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan
Character:
Da Qing (Guardian)
Additional Tags:
Canonical Character Death, Double Drabble, Introspection, Emotional Hurt, They all deserved better, Sad, Grief/Mourning
Language:
English
Stats:
Published: 2022-02-22 Words: 200 Chapters: 1/1

Lost

Summary

Da Qing mourns.

Notes

I shouldn't have rewatched the last couple of minutes of the last episode. But I did and then I had emotions that wanted to be expressed. This is the result.

Lost

When Shen Wei had died he had unknowingly taken Zhao Yunlan with him.

Oh, Zhao Yunlan had held on for a little bit longer but nobody was fooled. Everything important about Zhao Yunlan - his soul, his spirit, everything that made him who he was - was gone the second Ling Jing shook his head at his desperate "Shen Wei?"

Da Qing hadn't witnessed that moment personally but he'd seen the emptiness in the once bright eyes afterwards, the bitter loss and his longing for release where before there had always been a fierce joy for life.

While he hadn't been surprised when they'd come back to a lifeless body and a brightly burning Guardian Lamp, the knowledge that they - that he - hadn't been enough to keep Zhao Yunlan alive still hurt.

There wasn't even a grave for the two of them. Zhao Yunlan's body was still walking around, having a life, and Shen Wei had left nothing behind but inexpressible grief and a few - far too few, considering his immense age - memories.

A life so long should have been remembered and celebrated by many; a life as short as Zhao Yunlan's should be mourned, instead of taken over by someone else.

Afterword

End Notes

I think the fact that, in the end, both of them died alone is the one that hurts the most.

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